productive/rant

Well woke up and found out i didnt have to go to work..pretty excited..the snow helped. But found my self incredibly bored and no one to talk to but my dogs..haha so i thought  about those words.."how i need to be more productive with my life" well i did just that.I went out and shoveled, cleaned my car, cleaned my house, played zumba, and just dance 2 and sang to the top of my lungs while jamming with my mop on hand and my ipod on deck. seriously releasing...and relaxing..probably not for my neighbors who had to hear me sing but good for me for opening up and letting go a bit. i then took the time to do my nails and get online to blog a bit. I mean i could have been a tad bit more productive if i stepped outside and socialized a bit but..me and the outdoors alone just havent gotten to terms just yet. I need a couple more exposures to get me to feel really comfortable walking around alone.. i thought probably carrying mase and a knife itd make me feel a bit better but still not doing it for me. I just need some help. yeah im not ashamed to say i need help..just like im not afraid to say i have a phobia...masklophobia(phobia of mascots).....yeah just found out what my phobia is called..thanks to the web and a friend!. Just hard to realize that whatever im scared of  is something that can be "fixed" I took enough psychology courses to know how a session would take place. scenario: ..".hi so tell me what brought you here today? idk im scared of life..and mascots......so tell me...when did this start......hmmm ..idk when i was a victim of a house invasion...and cant really explain the mascot one.....soo tell me what are some of your feelings?" .....yeah..........I would sit there and questions would be thrown my way until I find the answer to them and have to pay lots of $$ for something i figured out myself....yeah so thats why i havent made the attempt to get help. Dont get me wrong..i love my degree..haha just know too much to be able to get help. Its def great for others though. I def think everyone should meet with a therapist once in their life...just dont know about myself. Ok so since i went off during my blog. I am going to go ahead and be a productive house wife and cook before the hubby comes home since i didnt work and he did. :)