back to releasing some stress

So thought id be okay with not writing my every thought and my every insecurity, my every anxiety filled moment, my stressed and messed up life...but i guess i was wrong. Sometimes i really don't have anyone i can really tell everything to and expect to hear me out and understand me. That is when i reached out and figured the only one that gets me and hears me out no matter what fucked up situation, would be my college roomate, my bestie. It was a serious sense of relief, and weight off my shoulders to just let it all out. To tell her everything that has been going on with me...and not to tell me how fucked up i was, or how stupid i was, or judge me behind my back. I also realized that when im the most alone, i want to be around people and when i am around people all i want to do is be alone. Something i cant seem to wrap my mind around. My days usually consist of me waking up, hanging out with my pups, going to work, coming home, eating, and watching tv alone with my pups. Time seems to fly on by and the next day comes around for the same vicious cycle. Then it doesnt help i dont do much on the weekends either. I just feel like lately i need a change, i need something different and i should be the one in charge of that but i cant figure out where to begin.....i really dont know why i put myself through so much unnecessary stress...because it seriously is over the most ridiculous things too. I let the little things affect me and ruin my entire day. :/ 

walked away for 10 mins and lost my train of thought...well thats it then i suppose.